Craziness Ensues X3
by Beth Nottingham
Summary: This is what happened when my friend Nims Dias-Angelovdarkness and I were chatting on instant messenger, and it all started with "Sploik." Drabble. Randomness. Totally bereft of plot. AU. Read at risk of spleen explosion. Rated 'T' for language & violence


**A/N: Hey there folks! Princess Alaya D'Arc here! My friend, Nims-Dias Angelovdarkness and I were chatting on IM, and I was explaining about the official onomatopoeia for a pie in the face, and everything snowballed. This collaborated weirdness is the result. Enjoy!**

Alaya: Sploik...

Nims: Did you just throw a pie at me?

Alaya: No! It was aimed at Kurgy. But he ducked...

Nims: Oh. That's ok then

Alaya: And it struck Fai on the stomach!

Nims: What? No!

Alaya: Sad. I was going for the face. Mokona's eating it, and Fai is laughing... And Sakura is wondering how in the world she is going to get the purple stain (blueberry pie) out of Fai's white shirt.

Kurogane: DID YOU JUST THROW A PIE AT ME?

Alaya: '-_-

Nims: *rotfl*

Kurogane: *Glares*

Nims: *Still Laughing*

Alaya: Syaoran! Save me!

Syaoran: No.

Everyone else: o_O

Syaoran: You made me carsick in the first chappie of your first ever fic. And you're talking to Nims (who has previously tortured and killed me) about *more* ways to make me suffer. I have no obligation to save you.

Nims: *glares at Syaoran*

Alaya: He has a temper... I never knew that. We must exploit it!

Nims: Do you wanna get tortured and then die in this fic too?

Syaoran: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nims: Then be a good little puppy and go save her.

Alaya: Lol, you've got him wrapped around your pinky...

Syaoran: Yes ma'am!

Nims: Well, what can I say? I'm a very kind and persuasive person. ;)

Alaya: ROTFLMAOXINFINITY! I CANNOT BREATHE! And Kurgy's still trying to kill me... Oh! Syaoran rescued me! Thank you Syaoran!

Syaoran: Just keep that Dark-and-twisty-woman away from me!

Alaya: *Cheshire cat grin*

Nims: *smiles darkly* See. That wasn't so hard, was it now? Say, what do you think of Sakura getting tortured, eh Syaoran?

Alaya: Lol you're vindictive, Nims-san!

Nims: Why thank you Alaya-chan.

Syaoran: YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU *$&%^!

Me: Uh-oh. We made him mad.

Sakura: Calm down everybody!

Nims: Oye! *glares before speaking in an early calm tone* call me *$&%^ one more time.

Alaya: Why do I get the feeling that he just bought himself a one-way ticket to the land of that which may not even be imagined (but is often seen on )?

Syaoran: *gulp!*

Sakura: *facepalm.*

Nims: *grins mysteriously*

Syaoran: *Makes a sound similar to a mouse being trodden on*

Fai: Did I miss something?

Nims: Nope, Nothing at all.

Mokona: *tries to facepalm, but... HIS ARMS DON'T REACH!*

Nims: Maybe Kuro can do that for you…

Kurogane: Kid, you need to learn who to offend and who not to.

Alaya: You're one to talk!

Kurogane: Hey, I'm not dumb enough to get on that Nims's bad side at least. I know where that'll get me!

Alaya: But... you don't mind offending ME? *growls menacingly*

Kurogane:...

Nims: He's smart enough to learn his lesson in one time. hehehe...

Alaya: Heh heh heh... Perhaps I should teach him some proper respect myself...

Kurogane: *facepalm*

Nims: Great minds think alike you know. (my favorite quote)

Alaya: I almost feel sorry for them.

Nims: Me too. But seriously, it's just so much fun. How can you NOT do that? The temptation is too hard to resist! He's all yours.

Alaya: *Grins diabolicaly*

Kurogane: *looks ill* I thought Syaoran was the one who was in trouble...

Syaoran: Leave ME out of it!

Nims: Oh no Kurgz. The tables were turned on you.

Mokona: Let the torture begin!

Nims: Yes, let the fun begin

Kurogane: WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON, FURRBALL?

Nims: Mwahahaha...

Mokona: The side of evil. They've got cookies

Nims: Don't forget M&Ms. ;)

Mokona: Oh and those too.

Alaya: We have dissolved into silliness... Oh well, I shall test my power to twist reality... COOKIES? WHERE? I WAN'T EM!

Nims: Um... Kuro hid them. (Now let the madness begin)

Kurogane: Nice try, but I don't like sugary crap, remember?

Nims: *grins like Yuuko*

Fai: WHAT DID YOU SAY? DO NOT INSULT SUGAR!

Nims: I never said you ate them. I said you HID them

Sakura: *shakes head* oh boy, he's done it now.

Sakura: Aren't you folks taking this a little, okay, WAY too far?

Alaya: Nope. Not a bit.

Nims: not at all Syaoran dearest. *glances in his direction*

Kurogane: Kid, if you side with them too, I'll wallop your head off!

Nims: ~Syaoran...

Alaya: *whispers something in an unfamiliar language…*

Kurogane: *prepares to head-wallop, but notices a hangnail.* Damnit... *Trims hangnail clumsily and makes his finger bleed a little...*

Syaoran: Ummm, can I remain neutral?

Nims: NO!

Mokona: Join us Syaoran.

Fai: Yes. Join us...

Syaoran: I was just planning on keeping to the sidelines to, y'know; protect Sakura... *gulp* '-_- '-_-

Sakura: they even have cookies.

Kurogane: *prepares to go down fighting, but notices TWO more hangnails.* Damnit! Damn! *Rips them off, and makes his fingers bleed a little more.* Ow.

Alaya: *grins* I have cast my hangnail curse onto you! And that is what is going to happen in my oneshot which may, eventually, someday, after the completion or at least significant progress of Shades of Grey, be posted! And of course, your shoes will migrate all over your house, and your socks will always be dirty when you want them, and your wallet will vanish, and important mail will end up in the shredder.

Nims: Oh, that's a good curse. Maybe I should put it on a certain someone who is resisting us too much. *glances at your favorite and mine (Drumroll) Syaoran!*

Syaoran: But... I AM YOUR ALLY, FROM THIS DAY FORTH!

Alaya: sucker.

Sakura: *nods like Confucius* very wise my friend.

Kurogane: *yanks at his hangnails* damn you, traitor!

Alaya:

S

P

L

O

I

K

!

Nims: And now we are back to where we started

Kurogane: *stops yanking at hangnails long enough to wipe pie from his eyes*

Nims: or not

Alaya: Eh? There is more to come?

Nims: No idea. Maybe we should let Kurgy rest for a while.

Alaya: Yeah, maybe that's a good idea... I almost feel sorry for the guy

Kurogane: Kid, if you ever had any respect for me, kill me now...

Syaoran: No.

Nims: (Ah! another bunny is born)

Kurogane: Eh?

Nims: Kuro's sentence just gave me an idea, and that line could be the intro

Alaya: Ooh, angsty creepy bloody bunny?

Kurogane: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GIVING ME A BREAK!

Alaya: Bloody Bunny, Bloody bunny!

Nims: break time's over. *evil evil grin*

Kurogane: #*%(&#&$*%

Me: Language Kurgy. You still wanna come out alive, no?

Kurogane: I repeat, KILL ME.

Syaoran: No; there is still hope

Kurogane: *pleading expression* In this case, there is no chance at all of survival! Please put me out of my misery!

Nims: *dangles carrot* Of course I still have to figure out an ending.

Kurogane: *Looks over with the pleading expression*

Nims: Yes, now that's so much better

Alaya: With "Dead" nearing its conclusion, we need a Kuro-torture fic...

Kuro: *Gulp*

Sakura: *facepalm*

Syaoran: Princess, if you keep doing that, you'll get a red mark on your forehead.

Alaya: I've actually done that before...

Nims: Or your very own... dun dun dun! Torture fic! Or maybe a death fic. Oh. Oh. I know...How about...

A torture AND death fic?

Kurogane: *mumbles* she's got a mind like that clone's. One track I tell ya.

Nims: You know I can read what say, right Kurgy?

Kurogane: Oh #$%^…

Syaoran: You *$&%^!

Alaya: Oh, he's gonna' get it now...

Nims: Oh yes he is.

Sakura: *facepalms, and indeed makes a red-mark on her forehead...*

Syaoran: *gulp!*

Kurgy: Temper, kid...

Alaya: Like I said, you can't talk!

Nims: Language too.

Alaya: Tut tut...

Syaoran: *gulps and trembles, but holds his ground.* It doesn't matter what you do to me, but you will NOT harm Sakura, you *$&%^es! *Still trembling, and all tensed up.*

Alaya:... What do we do with THAT?

Nims: *tone darkens* Syaoran-kun

Syaoran: *gulps yet again, and braced himself*

Nims: What did I tell you about calling me *$&%^?

Kurogane: Knock it off, crazy woman. You know full-well that he only said that so you'd focus on him and not the princess. It's not fair for you to-

Alaya: Life ain't fair Kurgz. Ltlwi.

Nims: You know what Alaya-chan?

Alaya: What, Nims-san?

Nims: How about we kidnap Fai and blow the rest of them up? Seriously, those three are turning out to be quite a pain. I wouldn't worry about Mokona since Mokona is Mokona so help me grab Fai and let's make a run for it.

Alaya: Rotflmao! This pleaseth me!

Nims: Oh, but of course.

Alaya: Oh Fai-kun! I have some brownies that I want you to try!

Fai: Brownies! XD

Nims: Perfect. *looks at the remaining three who suddenly find themselves chained to a wall.* Alright guys. Sayonara!

BOOM!

Mwahahaha...

Alaya: Uh-uh, it's "sayonara, SUCKERS!" and then Kaboom! Boom is good. Boom is always fun.

Nims: Yes, Boom is fun…

Alaya: Wait a sec... Did it occur to you that we just blew up most of what we have to work with for fanfiction?

Nims: Er... Crap?

Fai: *snickers*

Alaya: *glare*

Nims: *glances at Fai*

Alaya: Do you want me to take away your sweets?

Fai: NO NO NO NO! *pales* w-wait a minute... *sees Nims's face* I-I know that look.

Nims: *smiles innocently* What look Fai-kun?

Fai: That... that look you have right now.

Alaya: *smiles complacently* What did you have in mind, Nims-san?

Nims: Oh nothing much Alaya-chan. *innocent smile transform to evil grin no justsu*

Fai: Please don't hurt me...

Nims: Whatever gave you that idea Fai-kun? *currently playing with Kuro's sword*

Fai: Like I said, I KNOW that look! Put that thing away! You're not slicin' ME up!

Nims: Oh but Fai-kun, I could never do that. Could I Alaya-chan?

Black Mokona: *mutters* wouldn't put it past her...

Nims: AHEM!

Black Mokona: Just tellin' it like it is...

Alaya: *sigh.* We seem to be making a lot of enemies lately…

Nims: Hey! It's not OUR fault everyone just happens to be against us

Alaya: You gotta' admit, the Moko's are fearless, 'cause they spent so much time around your previous incarnation, so they're used to us...

Nims: *sighs* I suppose so. So what shall we ever do with Fai?

White Mokona: I-I survived...

Fai: Run, Moko-chan, run!

W. Mokona: ...Why? *curls up in my lap and goes to sleep*

Fai: Uh, they just tried to KILL you!

Nims: No we didn't. I DID say Mokona would survive, cuz Mokona is Mokona

Fai: You're crazy...

Alaya: Was there a point in there somewhere?

Nims: No one ever accused me of being sane in the first place.

Fai: I can't believe they let you walk around free...

Nims: Why wouldn't they?

Alaya: Uuh, she had an army of characters to protect her Fai. I think they don't have a choice.

Nims: Alaya-chan, are you siding with Fai?

Alaya: Eh? How so?

Nims: Hey wait a second. Where did my army go?

B. Mokona: You blew them all up in fits of randomness.

Fei Wang Reed: But together, you and I could resurrect them—

Alaya: *Elbows him in the face.* who invited YOU?

Nims: Uh... I though butt-chin was taken care of.

Fei Wang: *Nurses broken nose* Oi! Have some respect for the super-villain population, you, you, *$&%^.

Alaya: Here we go again...

Fai: *facepalms.* You folks need to learn the meaning of "Taboo".

Nims: seriously. What IS it with everyone today? *$&%^, that's all they can say. I'll tell you what Reedy-boy, I'll forgive you for calling us that for now. But...

Call us *$&%^ one more time...

Yuuko's ghost: Fear not, my other self, for this is merely the fate of those who are given power. You shall withstand these tribulations and emerge triumphant...

Alaya: a) Don't you dare try to wrap this up nicely! b) I take it you speak from experience?

Yuuko's ghost: Ahem! *Elbows Alaya-chan in the face*

Nims: *jaw literally drops to the floor* what the *^%$?

Alaya: Owww, Damnit you *$&%^, nose jobs are expensive!

Yuuko: See what I mean?

Nims: What is your... I mean my... I mean Yuuko, what is your ghost doing here?

Yuuko's ghost: I am always with you, for you are me, and I am a part of you.

Nims: I can see that but seriously, if I'm your reincarnation, how can your ghost still be around?

Yuuko: Just go with it, okay?

Nims: Um, okay. Creepy, but okay. *looks around.* Hey, where'd Fai go?

Alaya: but den, how cobe I cad see you doo? Dabbit! Dose broken, bost likely...

Nims: Yuuko, you should fix her nose you know.

B. Mokona: Well, Fai IS a master escape artist y'know. He left before you could have him eviscerated.

Yuuko: You're no fun! Fine. *waves ghostly hand and fixes Alaya-chan's nose*

Nims: Aw man. *pouts* Now what will I do with all those brownies I baked?

Fai: More brownies?

Alaya: Bus-ted.

Nims: Gotcha!

Fai.: #$%. I fell for it...

Alaya: This surprises you?

Nims: You should have seen this one coming for miles Fai.

B. Mokona: Ditto.

Nims: I've been exploiting everyone's weaknesses. I thought you would have figured that by now.

Fai: I vote I get to eat brownies in peace.

Alaya: I vote no.

B. Mokona: I second that.

Nims: You second what?

B. Mokona: The vote that we do NOT allow Fai to eat brownies in peace.

Nims: Aye!

Yuuko's Ghost: Motion carried!

Nims: Sorry Fai. You've been outvoted.

Fai: *tries to sneak off again*

Nims: Oh no you don't. *grabs his ear and pulls him back*

Fai: Owowowo!

Maru: Naughty naughty, you'll get caughty!

Moro: That's right Fai-san; you mustn't upset the new mistress...

Fai: *Death-rattle*

**A/N: Well, that's all folks! Didja' like it? Didja? Please review and let me know! Positive comments will be relayed to Nims-san as well; flames will be incinerated by Mokona's 78****th**** secret talent, the "Oh-crap-laser-beam!"**

**Mokona: Yay! Mokona can't wait to test it out!**

**Yuuko's Ghost: Not to mention, flamers volunteer themselves for the "ID:10-T" award, seeing as if you actually read the description, you knew what you were getting yourselves into!**

**Fai: Heeeeeeelp!**

**Nims: Cackles gleefully… **


End file.
